I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
