I'm going to jail i love you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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