left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
