it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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