i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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