i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
