So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
