he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
