She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
