He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
