Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
