ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
