I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize