yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
