Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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