ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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