Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
