If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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