It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize