Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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