omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I could fuck to npr.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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