Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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