If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
