I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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