we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
