i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
