U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
