Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
