when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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