I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize