My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
