This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
