): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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