She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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