Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
