i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize