you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
