so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
