okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
