oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
