if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
