I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
