let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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