I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
