I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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