sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
