she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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