Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
420 ftw
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
two words: eviction party
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
