Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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