last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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