So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
