I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
