There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
