Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
