I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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