please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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