I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
