quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
