Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
