super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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